


Attached To The Thorns In My Chest

by delta_entropy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Chronic Hanahaki Disease, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Not Beta Read, Obi-Wan Kenobi-centric, Unrequited Love, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:27:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23288518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delta_entropy/pseuds/delta_entropy
Summary: Hanahaki Disease is a fictional disease born from deep romantic attachment. Unfortunately for Obi-Wan, it is not limited to fiction.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 17
Kudos: 107





	1. Diagnosis

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing a Star Wars fanfic so please bare with me. Also, I believe it was either on tumblr or discord where someone was discussing the concept of chronic hanahaki disease, and that got me thinking. I want to tackle it as a chronic disease before an acute attack. Anyway I hope you all enjoy!

The first time Obi-Wan felt his chest clench and his breath catch was watching the reunion of Padmé and Anakin. He could feel his breath catching in his chest as he saw how pleased the pair were to see one another; however, he did not think much of the uneasy quivering in his chest. His attention was primarily focused on the protecting Padmé and on leading the investigation of the assassination atempt, leaving him unaware of the growing romance between the two. Unfortunately, the time of his own ignorant bliss was short lived. It was clear to Obi-Wan that Anakin had fallen for Padmé, as the younger knight pulled further away from their bond. When he saw Anakin thinking about Padmé or talking to her, he wore the same love struck expression Obi-Wan once had for Santine.

Obi-Wan caught glimpses of the couple trying to sneak away, and he would occasionally feel a tickle in the back of his throat as he watched them. Still, the Jedi Master chose to ignore the cough as it became more and more persistent, until it demanded his acknowledgement. He coughed up a small, sharp, white petal. His lungs rattled as he fought back the urge to continue hacking. The petal’s edge was tinged red with blood and it contrasted with the black of his gloved hand before he crushed it in his haste when Anakin shot him a worried look from across the room where he had been instructing Ahsoka. His former padawan’s concern was palpable, and it made the dull ache in his chest feel sharper for a moment. Fortunately, he was able to wave the incident off as something in the air causing him to cough, and resumed reading reports on his datapad. Only when Anakin and Ahsoka were off planet did Obi-Wan go to the Halls of Healing about the strange occurrence, since he had continued to cough up blood tinged petals.

Master Che scowled as she reread Obi-Wan’s vitals for any sign of improvements. The illness was not responding to treatments and she was running out of conventional procedures to rid him of these flowers. Although they tested negative for being a contagion and could not be transmitted, it still frustrated her how nothing appeared to diminish their steady growth. At most, an antifungal regiment seemed to be the most effective against the disease, but even with the medication Obi-Wan continued to expel petals.

In the meantime, Master Che began to see if there were any documents that could explain Obi-Wan’s unusual pathology. The Jedi Archives provided some answers to the disease. There were a variety of ancient texts that described a “flowering disease”. These articles dated back to a time when Humans had entered the Galactic community. There were only ten case studies of humans suffering a similar disease. Five individuals underwent surgery to completely remove the “flowers”. Three had died on the operating table and the remaining patients demonstrated that a complete removal of the disease resulted in losing all positive emotions regarding another person or memory loss involving another person. Yet those who chose to allow the disease to progress all perished in a similar manner.

In the advanced stages of the disease, the person suffered changes in their personality, impulse control and blindness. Their skin would be pale and fragile, translucent enough to see the impression of flowers and roots underneath, if it had not already burst forth. One individual had even begun to vomit petals, blood and a strange red viscous fluid until they perished. The other three individuals perished due to asphyxiation. The autopsy found that they had drowned in their own blood, and thorns shredding whatever remained. The autopsies also revealed the extent and the all consuming nature of the infection. Many of the non-vital organs were destroyed, leaving a nutrient rich fluid in its place and the bones were strangled by the creeping tendrils. Examination of the brain and spine revealed how embedded the roots grew into the nervous system.

Only the final case study demonstrated the disease resolving on its own for no apparent reason.

The other information that discussed a disease that causes flowers to bloom in a person’s chest came from the mythology section of the archive. There was an abundant amount of information that surrounded a fictitious disease and its apparent pathology. Most of the stories agreed that the disease always began to grow at the base of a being’s heart, and grew slowly and silently. The person afflicted with the disease almost always was reluctant to remove the flowers, letting it thrive until their death. Master Che had also noted a pattern in these stories. The disease always seemed to be triggered by romantic attachments. Unfortunately, many of the descriptions and discussions of this disease often were disturbingly romanticized; however, she had a name and idea for the diagnosis.

  
“Master Kenobi…” Che said, “Based on the pathology of this disease, I believe you have something called Hanahaki disease.”

She scrutinized his expression before continuing.

“I would describe this disease as a disease born from attachment, romantic attachment. The later stages of this disease is characterized by a growth, the flowers, being expelled by the body. For an indeterminate amount of time, you had this plant growing in your chest. However, what I know about the disease is primarily based upon stories created by primitive humans. There are a few somewhat recent cases of a disease similar to what you are experiencing and are similar to the fictional disease.”

"I see." Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow, obviously not believing that he could be sick with a disease that was not even real.

“From what I gather, we have two options. I can perform a life saving surgery and remove the flowers or we begin to plan end of life care.”

“Well, it seems obvious which option would be preferred…” Obi-Wan said, stroking his beard taking in what he has been told.

“The surgery may not be successful in removing the disease and you will perish on the operating table. If we are successful in forcibly removing the flowers, then you may either forget whoever you are attached to, or you will never feel a positive emotion towards them again. The mythology supports my conclusion as many often suffer once the flowers have been removed. ”

“I…” He swallows. “I think I need more time to consider my options.”

“Understandable. Contact me as soon as you have made your decision Master Kenobi.” Master Che said kind-fully. “We have completed the physical and I will look more into the disease.”

The Jedi Master nodded his understanding, mind numb as he navigated his way back to his apartment.


	2. Managing Symptoms

The door behind Obi-Wan closes as the Jedi Master finally makes it to his room. He tried to force his body to breathe in a normal rhythm but he was hyper aware of every breath he took. He could almost imagine the sharp edges of petals scratching the back of his throat as he tried to suppress the urge to cough. Obi-Wan did his best to not double over, as he felt something much larger being forced into his throat. It was the first intact flower he had coughed up.

Blue-grey eyes stared at the flower resting in his palm. It had five white petals, speckled in blood, that surrounded a pale cream pistil. Each delicate petal was deceptively sharp, as it had easily sliced his esophagus and tongue. The stench of fresh blood was hidden behind the strangely sweet fragrance of honey and bitter almonds. The flower was grotesquely beautiful. Obi-Wan swallowed as his mind processed what it was seeing.

Finally remembering to breathe the Jedi Master inhaled sharply, ignoring the burning sensation. He took a few unsteady steps towards the refresher, his mind racing about what to do with the full bloom. Realistically, he should dispose of the flower, but he could already feel the attachment towards it. It was not until he approached the sink did he realize how he looked. Hazy blue-grey eyes stared back at him and he looked paler than usual. His cheeks were red and he had a few tear stains in his beard due to the force needed to expel a full flower. As he stared, he noticed his lips were stained red and a small dribble of blood had oozed out of his mouth.

Gently placing the flower down, Obi-Wan turned the faucet on. He relished the tingling sensation of the ice cold water as he scrubbed his face clean of blood and tears. He quickly filled a cup and took a huge swig of water. He kept rinsing his mouth until the pink water leaving his mouth ran clear and the taste of iron had faded. When he finally looked at himself again, he resembled something closer to his usually composed self. His eyes were no longer hazy, and no one would have known only moments ago his mouth was stained with his own blood. He glanced down at the flower. The pink edges had turned brown as the thin layer of blood dried. With tender strokes, he cleaned the petals, losing himself in the mindless task.

Returning from the refresher, flower in hand, Obi-Wan settled down to meditate. He allowed the Force to ebb into his consciousness and his emotions to seep out. His feelings were tumultuous, clouding the connection to the Force and causing his meditative state to be much shallower than they were before the infection. He identified the emotions that were causing his meditation to be less effective. The shame and disgust twinned around his attachment for his former padawan. In theory, he should have the ability to untangle himself from his attachments since he was a Jedi Master, and a Council member. 

Unfortunately, he would always form attachments as easily as breathing, which had almost prevented him from becoming a Jedi. Those attachments had also led him to almost leaving the Order and his Master dismissing him. But, as Obi-Wan aged, he had gotten better at hiding the fact that he had continued to feel too strongly for those around him, choosing to ignore how his actions betrayed him and spoke of the depths of his attachment. 

The Jedi Master knew he would always love Anakin.

Obi-Wan could no longer imagine a life where he would be devoid of the feelings he felt towards the young knight, and he feared the life were he to forget him. The younger man was the center of his universe. There was no other alternative other than accepting his fate. He could not run from it, but he would do his best to delay the inevitable and savor every moment he had with Anakin. His attachment is destined to kill him, but Obi-Wan could not help but feel a new sense of peace that settled in his Force signature. Blue grey eyes opened as Obi-Wan left the meditative trance, his love being tempered by the first effective meditation in months. 

For a moment, Obi-Wan was able to catch his breath.

Master Che disapproved of Obi-Wan’s choice to plan end of life care when they could possibly save his life, but she respected his wishes. They would continue the antifungal regiment, and monitor whatever helped the Council Member breathe. Her research had led her to stories where a person was able to recover if they were able to let go of their attachment. She asked Obi-Wan to do a battery of exams to determine if meditation had helped to ease the infection symptoms. In theory, the Jedi Master would be able to curb the growth of the infection if he was able to properly manage his emotions, even if he failed to purge them. The hypothesis was validated by Obi-Wan’s test results. The meditation and the medication slowed the growth. He may have bought enough time to fall out of love with Anakin. 

Obi-Wan knew he was not going to fall out of love with Anakin, but now that the disease was no longer demanding his attention, he could ignore it more easily. The war continued to drag on, and his focus should be towards fighting the Separatists.

Everyone around him had thought that Master Kenobi had recovered from the mysterious illness. He no longer looked as pale, and did not seem prone to coughing fits. All behind closed doors, Obi-Wan still quietly suffered from the flowers. They were manageable, but he now became winded after prolonged exertion. The medication left him feeling nausea and he felt awful for making Anakin and his troops worry. They were all run down by the never ending demands of war, but each clone saw how every day slowly ate away at their General.

It was clear to them that Obi-Wan had remained sick even after he said he had been cleared by the Healers. Some of his weight loss could be attributed to the stress of being an active wartime General. It could even explain the far off hollow look that would pass over Obi-Wan’s face when he was tired or believed no one could see him. But war was not an explanation for the pained look that their General would get when he saw General Skywalker sneaking off.

Unconsciously, Obi-Wan would bring his hand to clench at his chest. Soothing something that seemed to get agitated by the younger General. Other times they would see him cough and try to rub the flecks of blood that would stick onto the strands of his beard. They may not know what was wrong with Obi-Wan, but they could do their best to ease his burden. Cody devised shifts for the troopers to help take care of their General. He even was able to get the 212st to help take care of Obi-Wan when no one from the 501st could accompany him. General Skywalker had picked up on the shift, and supported the troopers in their mission to care for Obi-Wan. Anakin agreed that someone needed to help make sure his master was caring for himself. In fact, it became commonplace to see the whole battalion lovingly bully him into eating and resting. It was their duty to take care of him. What else could they do?

Yet, Obi-Wan did not improve, even with the clones hounding him about taking care of himself. At first they thought he had been improving, when he seemed to be virtually symptom-less on a mission, until they reconnected with 501st. Suddenly, they saw their General double over after a call with General Skywalker. They could hear the coughs wracking through his body. Thankfully, no petals fell from his mouth alongside the blood.

They had assumed it was fluke, until the same thing happened time and time again. The troops decided to run interference, without the General knowing, since it was obvious to them that General Skywalker made their General sicker. The 212th were grateful for General Skywalker’s oblivious nature. They were unsure how the younger Knight would react to the very slow decline of his Master being connected to himself.

Unfortunately, the troops did not have long to wonder. All it took was Skywalker placing a lovingly chaste kiss on the Senator’s lips. Obi-Wan did not mean to stumble upon such an intimate moment between the two lovers. He was grateful that his mental shields remained strong as he quickly retreated. Obi-Wan never wanted to see the person he loved most, look at someone with that tender expression. He hated how jealous he felt that Padmé was the recipient of that tender kiss. The emotions he had worked hard to suppress would have been enough to alert his former Padawan of the true nature of his feelings. His lungs burned, and his heart bled.

His hasty retreat led him straight into the arms of Cody and Rex. The pair were frozen as they watched the redhead struggling to breathe. He was hunched over, blood and petals spilling from his mouth. No matter how hard he tried to breathe, he was unable to fill his lungs with life sustaining oxygen. His eyes were open wide in panic as tendrils of darkness crept into his vision. Against his better judgement, he reached out to Anakin for comfort, fearing it would be his last encounter with the one he loved.

The Jedi Master blinked. The blinding light caused him to take a moment as he registered the familiar ceiling. Part of him was disappointed to see that he had, in fact, survived, but another part was grateful for more time. Master Che was hovering nearby, reading what would probably be his current vitals. He gently probed the Force to see who else was present. Finding no one else, he relaxed further into the bed for a split second. Cody and Rex would both realize how sick he was, and he remembered calling out for Anakin over their training bond. It would not take much for the dirty blonde Knight to come storming in if he thought his master was distressed so why was Anakin not here? In fact, Cody and Rex would have normally would have been in here demanding answers after the display he had just put on. Sensing her patient, the Twi’lek healer turned her immediate attention to him.

“Anakin will not be allowed in until I deem you medically stable. I also sent Commander Cody and Captain Rex back to the barracks. They were visibly shaken by the fact their General was coughing blood and flowers onto them. All three of them will be demanding answers, and you will have to explain this to them.” She said.

Obi-Wan nodded in understanding. He did not intend to stumbled upon the two clone commanders as he was retreating from Padmé and… The redhead began to violently cough, instead of only a few stray petals that usually accompanied an acute attack, he was coughing up flower buds. His blood soaked through the white sheets, and small white buds littered his lap. He knew from the last medical report that he did not have signs of this volume of flowering bodies growing in his chest. The constant management had been working, so why was he coughing up so many buds?

“The antifungal and meditation worked in a prophylaxis sense. Something triggered a much more aggressive reemergence of the disease. Master Kenobi, we may be able to manage the disease again, but at the rate it seems to be growing you have less than a month left to live.”

Obi-Wan looked up from the bloody flowers, his eyes damp. “We already know I won’t undergo that surgery Master Che.”


End file.
